THE BLUE T-SHIRT - CHOOSING PEACE

“Better a peace than be right.”

— Jonathan Swift

What do you think of this sentence? Do you agree?

I'll illustrate this quote with a brief dramatization:

The Blue T-Shirt

Let’s imagine that we are more intimate than we actually are. We are siblings, parents and children, husband and wife, or something like that.

Now imagine that I show you this blue T-shirt and say: “I loved this yellow T-shirt!!!”

What would you answer?

Remember: we are close.

You would probably say something like:

“Dani, you’re mistaken. This T-shirt is blue!”

And that would be fine if I replied right away:

“Oh, you’re right, I was mistaken! I loved this blue T-shirt!”

But let’s explore another possibility. Imagine I respond like this:

“That’s absurd!! You’re wrong! This T-shirt is clearly yellow!”

And now… how would you continue this debate?

Maybe something like:

“Dani, I don’t want to contradict you, but everyone can see that it’s blue.”

Or maybe something harsher:

“Dani, are you crazy?? Anyone can see this is a blue T-shirt!”

Then I completely lose it:

“Man! You love picking on me!!! It may be blue for you, but for me it will always be yellow!! You’re so annoying!!! I can’t take this anymore!!”

What would you do now?

In my opinion, you only have four possible responses:

1)      You accept the provocation and start the conflict, after all, you are right

2)      You lie just to avoid disagreement “I like this yellow T-shirt too”

3)      You remain silent

4)      You choose peace and respond: “Okay, I respect your point of view.”

“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.”

2 Timothy 2:23

In this context, let's see which of the 4 possibilities is the most interesting for not producing quarrels.

❌1)  we want to avoid conflicts

❌ 2) because we are not advocates of lying

❌ 3)  in this context, silence may cause even more anger

✅ 4) Best option – RESPECT

As human beings, we tend to always believe that we are right.

My belief, my political position, my opinion, my way — it’s always the best!

Because of this, in my country (and I believe all over the world), polarization has divided people.

People labeled as “right-wing” break relationships with those labeled “left-wing,” and vice versa. They argue not to understand the other person’s point of view or to learn something new, but to impose their own perspective.

In the name of a “point of view,” we have seen families torn apart, couples separating, friends becoming enemies.

Throughout history, we’ve seen that the greatest human atrocities were grounded in conviction and the imposition of one’s point of view. Even right now, there are countries suffering from war caused by someone forcing their will on others.

In my country, we have seen pastors defending their “truths” by attacking LGBTQI+ people, without even considering that Jesus called us to love, not to judge.

But conflicts and disagreements are not always obvious or philosophical. Sometimes they arise in everyday life — in raising children, in daily choices, in routine activities, sometimes right at the dinner table.

This is the year we need to establish PEACE.

Since we are powerless to do this on a global scale, unfortunately, we must do it in our world — our micro-space of daily life.

This is not about being passive or complacent, but about being WISE.

It’s not about never expressing your opinion, but about recognizing when it will add value and promote growth, and when it will simply generate conflict.

And, of course, it’s not just about speaking, but also about listening and learning from others. Remember: learning does not mean your truth is weak or vulnerable. On the contrary, it allows you to add ideas and, above all, to respect the other person’s point of view.

I would like to close with a well-known dialogue of Jesus, since He is our greatest example of conduct, wisdom, and love:

John 18:33–37 (NIV)

33 Pilate then went back inside the palace, summoned Jesus and asked him, “Are you the king of the Jews?”

34 “Is that your own idea,” Jesus asked, “or did others talk to you about me?”

35 “Am I a Jew?” Pilate replied. “Your own people and chief priests handed you over to me. What is it you have done?”

36 Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jewish leaders. But now my kingdom is from another place.”

37 “You are a king, then!” said Pilate. Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. In fact, the reason I was born and came into the world is to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me.”

I do not “lose” when I listen.

I do not become weaker when I learn.

I am not agreeing when I accept.

I am simply being a peacemaker when I respect another person’s point of view.

Dani Caldeira